Dr. Chad Sato
Hawai‘i Herald Columnist
The month of June gives way to summer with flowers in full bloom, school ending, and the warmer weather bringing more ease into our lives where we can relax and chill for a while. In last month’s column, I focused on nurturing energies to celebrate Mother’s Day. So guess what this month’s column is about!
Father’s Day falls on June 20. When I think of a fathering energy, I think of patience, fortitude and dedication that bring balance to the nurturing mother energy I discussed in my last column. Although we know today that the roles of parents can be more blended and equal, action, discipline and boundaries are associated with a more masculine energy.
Remembering Your Father
Whether or not you had good or bad experiences with your father, Father’s Day gives you the opportunity to connect with him if he is still alive, and for those with fathers who have transitioned, a moment to remember and appreciate his presence. Instead of waiting for one day out of the year to remember your father, you can choose anytime to do so.
In my case, my father passed around four years ago from a massive heart attack after languishing for two-and-a-half years in a skilled nursing facility due to a hemorrhagic stroke that compromised the whole left side of his body and left-field vision. Not being able to move was probably one of the hardest things he dealt with. However, I always joked that he was a cat with nine lives; he escaped fatal injuries falling from a two-story house, sliding nearly 80 feet down a cliff face and being electrocuted by a live wire. He also survived a brain aneurysm back in his mid-20s and lived another 50+ years after that.
Thanks Dad for the Lessons
I remember my dad always working ever since I was little. The only time he relaxed was in front of the television at night. A man of few words, he showed his caring and love for me with action. Whenever I needed help fixing a window or door frame, he was always there for me. However, this wasn’t always the case growing up.
Whenever I asked for help on some project or Boy Scout activity, he never lent a helping hand. He would always tell me that I could figure it out and left me alone to do it. Back when I was young, watching the other boys be assisted by their dads infuriated me.
However, without his help, I was forced to rely on my own abilities and to think critically, which made me more resilient and independent. I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but eventually I realized that my father’s way of not helping me developed my inner confidence to face and overcome challenges in the future.
Identify With the Father Energy
Anyone can take on the role of the father, so why not be the father to your own body and life? The father energy is one of protection, strength and insight. Other positive father energetic traits are providing structure, law and order, discipline, rationale and logic, understanding and inspiration.
Own your authentic authority which leads to proper discernment and clarity. Lead by example and empower others to do the same.
The fatherly energy also has some negative traits like being rigid, controlling, aggressive and disconnected from others. Honor your father this month by taking action, setting boundaries and asserting your independent thinking. Learn to also ask questions from the heart and work towards clarity of mind leading to open communication with your body, yourself and others. Learn to be solid in today’s rapidly changing world. Embracing the father energy leads to healthy self-reliance and this is a powerful position that gives permission to others to do the same.
Applying Fatherly Energies
One of the most essential things that I have learned over the past 21 years of practice is to pay attention to your body’s signals and know when life stressors are impacting your health and well-being. If you’re not in tune with your body so you know when its vitality is decreasing, your wellness could start going down a slippery slope.
This is where you can be vigilant and establish healthy habits and routines. Create a plan and then take action to implement a healthy-lifestyle regimen, which will pay dividends to the quality of your life.
You can also make wellness a fun competition by playing a game that pits your skills against another; set up some health or physical goals to be achieved in a set time-frame, and play a sport that yields a winner and a loser.
Also you can utilize the analytical mind by finding a building project, a puzzle to figure out or take an online class where you learn something that encourages you to either problem-solve or learn a new skill. One applicable exercise that you could do during these COVID-19 times is to research the true efficacy of the vaccines, ways to boost your immune system, or anything scientific that can bring more confidence in dealing with COVID. Building up your physical strength is also another active energy; create a weight-lifting regimen or do things that physically challenge yourself.
Once in a while, taking a little risk and getting out of our comfort zones help us grow, especially if we fail. Wendy Mogel, Ph.D., author of “The Blessing of a Skinned Knee,” says venturing and exploring “helps to build character, self-confidence, resilience and self-reliance.” Dealing with all the uncertainty that COVID-19 brings, it’s helpful to adopt this perspective. Be more discerning and trusting your inner guidance is key.
Own the Father Energy
Allowing yourself to embrace the father energy has nothing to do with what your gender is. No matter who you are, you can draw your boundaries, learn to live more openly, be courageous, be equitable, but most importantly create an inner safety to act in accordance with your own values and sense of purpose. Learn to identify and own your truth and unique energy. In doing so, you will be able to live your life for the most part in a calm and effective way even when challenges arise.
The father energy allows you to embrace and respect your true individuality. Being able to make your own decisions that feel right for you is what is demanded of you at this time. Are you going to follow what others are doing when it’s not aligned with your own values? This energy helps you to establish healthy boundaries and the ability to make distinctions in the subtle differences of life choices and opinions. Embracing this element of the father energy will ensure a more balanced and courageous life.
Dr. Chad Sato graduated from UCLA in 1995 with a bachelor’s degree in biology and earned the Doctor of Chiropractic degree with honors from Life Chiropractic College West in 1998. Sato founded his practice, Aloha Chiropractic (alohachiro.biz), in Mänoa valley, O‘ahu, on Oct. 1, 1999. He is a sought-after educator, speaker, author and mind-body specialist who helps people reach new levels of empowerment when it comes to their health and wellness by staying present with their body signs, making appropriate life choices and utilizing stress instead of managing it.